I think it’s best to start with what I’m not. I’m not having a mid-life crisis.(at least I don’t think so) I didn’t get downsized from a career I spent my life building,(although who knows what the future could bring). I’m not trying to increase my income, or further my status in the corporate machine, though some money would be nice.
I’m not actually 40.
I’m not going back to get a Master’s degree or PhD. I’m like every other Freshman I’m going to be sitting in class next to, with the exception that the last time I sat in a classroom as a student was 16 years ago. The last time I “attended” a University, I was 19 years old and I’m definitely not 19 anymore. I’m not at my sexual peak, though I’ll challenge anyone who says different. I’m not as confident as I was then, either. I didn’t have the life experience to know what true failure is.
I’m not single. I’m not recently divorced, though this school thing could escalate that process. I’ve been married for 14 years to a woman who is better looking now than she ever has been. Better looking than when I met her at age 15. That’s a serious accomplishment. It’s really quite annoying.
I’m not doing this to set an example for my two daughters, though I’m told that would be a great reason for it. I do a lot for them, but not this one.
I’m not going broke, though I’m pretty sure this degree will eventually gut our household finances on some level.
I’m not entirely devoid of academic skills. I have studied to get my Personal Financial Planning designation and passed. I’ve also taken one online University course in the last two years and did ok. Actually, I took two of them, but I had to drop out of one as the demands of fatherhood, husbandry and employment took precedence.
What I am is losing my hair at an alarming rate. You wouldn’t think that this would be a primary concern, but it seriously is. I have deluded myself that I can coast into class incognito and that only my hair line will give me away.
I’m incredibly lucky. I have a wife who I’m pretty sure loves me and authorized this excursion. These are all going to be first-world problems people, no escaping it.
What I am is afraid. Deathly terrified…………………………………………. And 39.